um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
