she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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