Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize