Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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