I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
