apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
