you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
