Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
