I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
