Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if only i could text you this smell
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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