I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
