oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
