he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
