There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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