i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
