And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
