yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit dude........stairs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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