so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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