i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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