Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
