Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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