Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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