i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
