This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
