Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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