Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
