I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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