let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
