apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
