Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I heard we made out
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
