please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Randomize
