he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
