the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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