Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
