her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
