I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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