i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
