he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
