I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
