I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
