Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
