it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
