Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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