I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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