Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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