you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
