I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Terrible idea I love it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
