I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
