Pappa wants mamma naked
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
