Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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