Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
