is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
